As I have previously written about, the car accident my sister and I got into this summer is a tender, scary subject for me to write about. When Mr. Kunkle described what a personal narrative should be, I couldn't stop thinking about how great it would be for me to write about that experience in much greater detail than I ever could in 30 min. on a blog post like I demonstrated yesterday.
As perfect a choice as that may be, I can't help but still feel aperhensive about choosing a topic such as that. I fear of writing that because I know it will bring back the memory I have tried so hard to block from my mind the past month. For weeks I woke up screeming from nighmares of reliving that crash. Why would I ever want to bring it back to surface, much more on paper, where it will forever be both in my thoughts and in words, documented for the everbody to read?! It's a question I will continue to ponder this weekend when I actually do sit down to write my pesonal narrative, and in the end I feel I will have to shove my fears out of my mind and write about it anyhow. Maybe it will be good for me, maybe it won't. All I know is that a car crash can symbolize so many other things in life, and can be written with more description than anything else I know. For this time, and this time only, I will think first about the quality of writing I will create, and second about the aftermath of my emotions.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
"SKREEEEECH, CABOOM!"
SKREEEEECH, CABOOM! With the shatter of glass, bending of metal, sound of sirens blaring and shreeks of fear, my worst fear is upon me--a car crash. Driving nearly 2 hours round trip once a week, I'm well aware of hte fact that being a teenage driver, my stats for my greatest fear becoming a reality are sky high. Figures. Ever since the worst day of my life, I've been living in fear that my luck of sliding by the scariest moment of my life unparalysed and still capitated will be worn out the next time around. A car crash can be eye-opening, educational, freaky-scary, and haunting all at the same time. Proud of the fact that putting on a seat belt is never the afterthought for me, but instead instinct to do first thing when I get into a car, I am well aware that a lot of other people can't say that. That one godsent instinct was just one of the many instincts I had the day of the crash that probably saved my life.
The Day of the crash is filled with "what ifs". What if I never put my seatbelt on and got sent through the windshield? What if I hadn't put my feet down from the dashboard 5 minutes prior to the first hit? What if my step brother and sister had come with us to Iowa, meaning my step sister and I would have been in the back seat and would have been decapitated by the hatchback cover that went slamming through the back, necklength, at 60 mph? I can tell you one thing--those "what if's" have never left my being. I will NEVER get into a car without a seatbelt, NEVER put my feet up on the dashboard, I will NEVER tailgate somebody myself, and now my fear of a repeat of this horrible day has lead me to believe I NEVER want to sit in the backseat of a hatchback car, for fear of being rear-ended still haunts me.
This fear has forced me hate something I used to love...something that I do so often. This feer consumes me and has flipped my life into a spiral that's going nowhere fast. But most of all, this fear has made me more aware that life can change in an instant, and ignoring your instincts can be a deadly action.
The Day of the crash is filled with "what ifs". What if I never put my seatbelt on and got sent through the windshield? What if I hadn't put my feet down from the dashboard 5 minutes prior to the first hit? What if my step brother and sister had come with us to Iowa, meaning my step sister and I would have been in the back seat and would have been decapitated by the hatchback cover that went slamming through the back, necklength, at 60 mph? I can tell you one thing--those "what if's" have never left my being. I will NEVER get into a car without a seatbelt, NEVER put my feet up on the dashboard, I will NEVER tailgate somebody myself, and now my fear of a repeat of this horrible day has lead me to believe I NEVER want to sit in the backseat of a hatchback car, for fear of being rear-ended still haunts me.
This fear has forced me hate something I used to love...something that I do so often. This feer consumes me and has flipped my life into a spiral that's going nowhere fast. But most of all, this fear has made me more aware that life can change in an instant, and ignoring your instincts can be a deadly action.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Arguments Won and Lost
There are few arguments that I've ever won in my life, and no, that's not because I stink at forming a solid opinion and backing it up--it's because I rarely get into arguments at all (usually if I disagree about something minor I just keep it to myself.) It's all a part of my whole non-confrontation deal. However, a pretty major battle my mother and I had a couple months ago did result in my victory (yay!).
My mother seems to be very interested in living vicariously through me. I can recognize that this is quite common for mothers who have daughters in their "prime", but I swear my mother must be the queen of this. Luckily for me, my mother's parents (my grandparents) hit it pretty lucky with some stocks and set up trusts for my sister and I when we were babies for our college education. The thing is this--whatever we don't use on our education we get when we are 30. My mother thinks that I should use it all on education because that makes the most sense. I can see taht using it for a solid education is a fine idea;however, my mother has no idea what using money wisely means. She thinks that I should go to an out of state college no matter what because it's worth the money for the "cultural experience". Now hold up for a second--this is where I stepped in. I asked her, "What if I get into UW Madison and CU Boulder? Are you saying I should go to CU Boulder and pay approximately 55,000 a year to go to a school that's not even as good as UW Madison?" My mother replied yes. She thinks it will teach me to fend for myself in the real world. Sure, it would be fun, but that logically makes absolutely no sense! Madison is a much better school with a smaller price tag! After a long, long talk with her, she finally agreed with me that if that happens, Madison is where I'll go. After all, I have my whole life to have "cultural experiences". Heck, I can study abroad as an undergraduate at Madison! Very proud of winning quite a large argument, I thought I'd share this one :)
My mother seems to be very interested in living vicariously through me. I can recognize that this is quite common for mothers who have daughters in their "prime", but I swear my mother must be the queen of this. Luckily for me, my mother's parents (my grandparents) hit it pretty lucky with some stocks and set up trusts for my sister and I when we were babies for our college education. The thing is this--whatever we don't use on our education we get when we are 30. My mother thinks that I should use it all on education because that makes the most sense. I can see taht using it for a solid education is a fine idea;however, my mother has no idea what using money wisely means. She thinks that I should go to an out of state college no matter what because it's worth the money for the "cultural experience". Now hold up for a second--this is where I stepped in. I asked her, "What if I get into UW Madison and CU Boulder? Are you saying I should go to CU Boulder and pay approximately 55,000 a year to go to a school that's not even as good as UW Madison?" My mother replied yes. She thinks it will teach me to fend for myself in the real world. Sure, it would be fun, but that logically makes absolutely no sense! Madison is a much better school with a smaller price tag! After a long, long talk with her, she finally agreed with me that if that happens, Madison is where I'll go. After all, I have my whole life to have "cultural experiences". Heck, I can study abroad as an undergraduate at Madison! Very proud of winning quite a large argument, I thought I'd share this one :)
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Why AP Compotition Is My Favorite Class!
I'm sure the majority of this class will look at this post title and immeditately think "BROWN NOSER," but I promise it's the truth! There are a lot of things about this class that make me excited to walk into Kunkle's room everyday at 11:15. For one, everyone in this class is very open and layed back. Nobody judges other people's viewpoints, and I think that's a rarity in classrooms at this school. Also, there is so much active discussion going on everyday that it broadens my understanding of the text assigned the night before by miles. After hearing others thoughts, just as I did with the blog over the summer, I have a much easier time finding ways to analyse it in a more in depth way, and ultimately getting much more out of my homework experience. I'm also a pretty avid writer, and having the opportunity to write essays is really fun for me. I may not be the greatest writer yet, but that's exactly why I'm taking this class--to get better. Overal, I love this class and can't wait to learn a lot more about writing and reading :) yay!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
I Write Not Only With My Head, But With My Heart As Well
I find it's never good to start out a piece of writing with the world "I"; however, in this case, I'll put that rule on hold. It seems to me that it's always easier to look at other's writings and point out their writing style. When asked how I write, quite frankly, I didn't have a clue. After thinking hard about all of the feedback I've ever gotten, and taking myself back to imagining myself writing an essay or a letter, this is what I came up with:
When I sit down at the computer to write something, or take my pensil in my hand, the first thing I want to do is just start. It doesn't matter if It's the worst intro in the world, or if I still don't even have a clue what I'm going to say about my topic. I just write. I find that this way what I'm thinking at that exact moment appears right in front of me, for me to look at in a much more caustic way when I'm finished.
Planning has never worked for me. In 5th grade when we had to learn about a "hamburger style" 5 paragraph essay I wanted to barf. The idea of having everybodys writing formated the same way seemed ludicrus. How boring to read one essay after another, neatly formatted into an intro, 3 body paragraphs (don't forget transitions!), and a conclusion in which we need to restate everything we said in our three body paragraphs. I almost fell asleep everytime I read one of my classmates neat essays. The thing is, I never followed this rule. I would get awful grades on my essays in middle school just because I refused to follow this humdrum method. Writing is such a phenomenal thing, and above all, it's a way to express yourself. There should be no rules when you want to express yourself. If it's clear, if it's captivating, if it's well written, that should be what matters.
With that said, I'm what many would call a "rebel" when it comes to writing organization and mechanics. I like to break the rules when it seems appropriate, and I love to stylize my writings to get the point across on a higher level. One thing I thrive for is becoming vocabulary in my writings (yes I just looked up a better word for good :). ) That's exactly what I do--I'll pick random words in my essays and I'll try to find a more suitable one by thesaurus. It's a phenomenal way to learn new words, and it improves my writing exponentially.
Writing is both a right and a privilege, and I plan on taking full advantage of that.
:)
When I sit down at the computer to write something, or take my pensil in my hand, the first thing I want to do is just start. It doesn't matter if It's the worst intro in the world, or if I still don't even have a clue what I'm going to say about my topic. I just write. I find that this way what I'm thinking at that exact moment appears right in front of me, for me to look at in a much more caustic way when I'm finished.
Planning has never worked for me. In 5th grade when we had to learn about a "hamburger style" 5 paragraph essay I wanted to barf. The idea of having everybodys writing formated the same way seemed ludicrus. How boring to read one essay after another, neatly formatted into an intro, 3 body paragraphs (don't forget transitions!), and a conclusion in which we need to restate everything we said in our three body paragraphs. I almost fell asleep everytime I read one of my classmates neat essays. The thing is, I never followed this rule. I would get awful grades on my essays in middle school just because I refused to follow this humdrum method. Writing is such a phenomenal thing, and above all, it's a way to express yourself. There should be no rules when you want to express yourself. If it's clear, if it's captivating, if it's well written, that should be what matters.
With that said, I'm what many would call a "rebel" when it comes to writing organization and mechanics. I like to break the rules when it seems appropriate, and I love to stylize my writings to get the point across on a higher level. One thing I thrive for is becoming vocabulary in my writings (yes I just looked up a better word for good :). ) That's exactly what I do--I'll pick random words in my essays and I'll try to find a more suitable one by thesaurus. It's a phenomenal way to learn new words, and it improves my writing exponentially.
Writing is both a right and a privilege, and I plan on taking full advantage of that.
:)
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